"Life is tons of discipline"...Robert Frost
Related Words, Thoughts, Emotions & Mind-Sets - self-will, self-command, self-control, self-government, self-mastery, self-restraint, willpower
'Tis the season of lost discipline & so this is a good moment to bring the mind back to where it needs to live, that is if we want to reap the rewards of health & high level achieving. It's not just the Christmas cookies or the compulsive shopping or the excess alcohol.....it's the problem of entertaining a weak mind & then finding out that this crazy guest doesn't want to leave.
We all know about self-discipline....or do we? I know we are familiar with the term & probably can even define it, but when it comes to the application, the meaning of self-discipline seems to evade most of us. Some of my patients refuse to acknowledge that they have any self-discipline at all........as if accepting that fact would mean that they should/could have it in any & all areas of their life! Others refuse to mouth the word, as if it were poison or a jailer of life. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Let's review normal for a moment. While it's true that each of us is certainly disciplined in certain areas of life, no one has it across the board. So, why should we care about this? Well, it's actually quite important to realize that if you are disciplined in a particular area of your life, you can utilize that discipline subconsciously by applying it to another area where you may need more of it.
Most people who come to my private practice are seeking magic. In a way, it's so pleasingly child-like to share conversations with them, but on the other hand, one would think that by the time one reaches adult-hood we would be able to separate fantasy from reality. I've come to the conclusion that just about all of us, myself included, hold out hope for the manifestation of our very own wizard.
The most difficult part of my work is to break the magic spell & introduce the truths about self-discipline & wake people up to what they already have in place. I usually have to work quite hard to make this sale to my patients. It's so hard to let go of the wizard. It's sad in a way, because the truth is that self-discipline is actually very enjoyable.
If we weren't disciplined in so many areas, life would be a horrendous daily struggle. Think of some areas of your own life where you are disciplined. How about getting up in the morning, having breakfast, organizing your clothes & papers for work, brushing your teeth, organizing your home, etc. More than likely you have more disciplined areas than non-disciplined ones & this is good news.
Take a moment to think of some areas in your own life that you would like to bring over to the disciplined column. A few of mine include my exercise program, my book writing & weeding the garden. Just identifying these puts the subconscious mind on notice & a motivational plan is already in the works. That's the power of Interactive Awareness & Self-hypnosis.
We tend to plant negative motivational programs quite easily. Sometimes we aren't even aware that we are doing so. Here's an example....For some reason the term self-discipline receives a bad rap & a negative motivational code. Just saying it can scare people into the corner. This is irrational because self-discipline actually makes life easier.
My job as a clinical hypnotherapistis to gently bring my patients out of hiding & onto the particular goal path that needs the discipline. Once in motion, they will see & sense that this path is already lined with all sorts of motivational images & affirmations.
Most people think about self-hypnosis in relation to developing self-discipline to stop smoking or to lose weight. This is like saying that a fork is only used to eat meat or salad. There are actually hundreds of applications for self-hypnosis from medicine to sports to self-development & then some.
You know the old saying, it's all in how you look at something. In the practice of self-hypnosis, Self-discipline is a KEY MINDSET. In actuality it is a MASTER KEY MINDSETto success & high level achievement, as well as high level health. And so, we applaud this MINDSET right from the get-go. In the practice of interactive self-hypnosis we develop a new self-profile of success, as well as a strong sense of purpose.
While words are the tools of the hypnotherapist, the words form images that are emotionally fired. It's rather like relaxing deeply & then walking into the new self-profile & experiencing the many aspects of it. An experienced hypnotherapist can truly design an extraordinary experience that will/can program the subconscious mind in hundreds of ways. And while a picture paints a thousand words, a self-hypnotic image paints a thousand subconsicous mind suggestions.
Here are some self-discipline suggestions I planted today. Some were for patients & others were for myself...
1. Weight Loss - the images that my patient needed to experience were all about ordering her new discipline, as well as being comfortable & happy with this for many calendar months. In the past she had failed simply because of her disorder & lack of discipline.
2. Exercise Program - I visited myself in my mind's eye & positively experienced the full hour on the treadmill. I also experienced increased endurance on my weight circuit. I removed some negative-based emotional states that don't enjoy being in the gym & brought in my fun-self. I also removed the clocks that interfere with my discipline by telling me to hurry-up.
3. Lifestyle Changes - this patient needs to make a series of changes due to a serious medical diagnosis. This includes stopping smoking, losing weight & exercising. This is over-whelming for the patient & adds to the fear around the diagnosis. The images designed for her were very gentle, rather like kindergarten. New beginnings....building the different disciplines easily, playing with their parts. The patient became the student of the disciplines & sensed her own enjoyment at putting them together.
Spend some time thinking about your own issues now & allow your own subconscious mind to send up some suggestions. Just reading this material is enough to stimulate that happening.
PLANT AN AFFIRMATION
"I enjoy building disciplines in my life. I easily see/sense areas that would benefit from this KEY MINDSET & provide it for myself." ...Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Friday, December 14, 2007
The Realm of Heightened Creativity
"We cannot live only for ourselves. A thousand fibers connect us with our fellow men, and along those fibers as sympathetic threads, our actions run as causes, and they come back to us as effects"....Herman Melville
It's amazing what a fall or injury can do! For those of you who read my blog, you might remember that I fell off of my desk & injured my back. Last week I wondered if I would walk again. That thought truly bothered me, especially knowing what I know about the power of words, whether they be verbalized or in the form of thoughts. Luckily for me, I knew what to do & took care of it quite rapidly. My life work & passion is to teach others how to do this for themselves.
But, I want much more for them.
We each have our own realm of heightened creativity. It's like a special city or place on our map of life. It is here that we can actively move past pain & problems & then into our own passion or desires. For many of us the roads to this city are unknown or completely blocked by old business, low expectations or thoughts of impossibility......negative fiction. But no matter what happened in the past, we can all go there. I know ithis because I've not only experienced it personally, but over the many years that I've been in the practice of medical & personal development hypnosis, I've had the privilege to witness this road opening over & over again.
I went back to work last Tuesday, just for a short day. It didn't take me long to realize that I'd changed in some rather profound way. Let me share a bit of this with you, because it does have importance to the changes I am currently making.
When one practices hypnotherapy, it is always a different experience with each patient, for each patient is different. There may be twenty who want to lose weight or stop smoking, or improve their memory or reduce their stress...and while the problems appear to be quite general, the person behind the problem is always different, thereby making the problem different in each case.
Each of us has traveled a different road, collected different strengths & weaknesses that have etched a special effect on the generalized problem, rather like the problem had been soaked in an original marinade, perhaps for decades.
So Tuesday morning was like any other morning for me....but then a very strong & heightened creative part of me began conversing, not only with my patients, but with me. I don't know how much you as the reader know about hypnotherapy, but suggestions are usually designed "right in the moment" & come from the subconscious mind of the therapist. They are beautifully pin-pointed towards the specialized needs of the patient.
It happened that my Tuesday morning patients were all well-known to me & so I was progressing down their particular road when all of a sudden the focus shifted slightly. I found myself talking about unexpected accidents & the importance of the body & the mind being prepared to take on the healing from the position of an expert healer & not from the position of a victim.
There was more urgency in the suggestions....All victim thoughts needed to be recognized immediately & removed right then & there. There is no time ever for hanging out in victim stuff. The patient I was working with in that moment happens to be over-weight & has been meandering on her path towards wellness. In truth, she is going forward, but rather just drifting along in a slow sing-song rhythm.
As I re-organized her suggestions, I became intensly aware that I also meander in certain areas of my own life & certainly can get into my own victim thing. My writing & the producing of my CD programs is one of those areas. Over the years I've written & produced hundreds of programs in different genres to meet the needs of my patients & students. Whenever I send these out to mainstream publishers, editors or agents, I tend to hide behind rejections as if I'm guilty of something & then make excuses as to why I cannot find a publisher to market my work in bookstores, etc. as if this were the most important thing in my life......a true Sarah Bernhardt.
Unfortunately, or so I've been told, my work is not considered mainstream by many publishers, editors or agents....rather odd because I sell these very successfully from my website, in fact, all over the world.. I've been in my field for over 30 years & each day I communicate with hundreds of people who go to work each day, but suffer in their own silent jails. I have tremendous compassion for them, for while they are seen, they not truly seen or they are judged in a way that is unjust, perhaps even cruel.
Why does this happen & to so many? As I've studied this part of human behavior, I've come to realize that we are all so lost in our own lives, that we simply have no time or even desire to see the obvious in others. It can truly be a lonely world & because of this lonliness, small problems grow into big ones. These problems we can see & not only do we notice them, but we take the position of judge & jury...
We see fat people, anorexic people, compulsive & obsessive people, nail biters, skin pickers, hair pullers, emotionally weak or stressed out people, uncooperative people, alcoholics, smokers, poor performers, shy people, those who appear lazy & tend to sleep-walk through the day. We see people with latent talent who refuse to be motivated. We see frightened people, some who can't leave their homes & others who simply can't stand up & make a presentation at work. This is just a short list of what we can see if we bother to look.
While these problems & their solutions appear obvious to us as judge & jury, it is not as simple as that. There are underlying reasons for all of this & more. Much has to do with simply not knowing how to come out & face the problem, release it & then manage stress in a healthier fashion. These are things that should have been taught in childhod, but most of the time parents did not have the skills themselves & so there was little or nothing to pass on to the infant, child & teen. While sometimes psychotherapy is required, in many instances all that is needed is to uncover the blocks, bring the awareness free of emotion, release & then plant new images.
So, my work is to work as detective along with the problem-owner. Then we are ready to free the guilt & shame & enter the realm of heightened creativity. This is where the good stuff resides.
I've come to understand & accept that the large majority of professionals in the publishing field aren't familiar with exactly what I do because perhaps they have no reason to know this. I hope you don't misinterpret this. It is not an ego thing........it just the way it is.
Back to last Tuesday. Just as my weight management patient needed to take off her heavy shoes that were interfering with the speed of her travels, I realized that I must do the same. Can someone help me untie this knot in my shoelace?
It's amazing what a fall or injury can do! For those of you who read my blog, you might remember that I fell off of my desk & injured my back. Last week I wondered if I would walk again. That thought truly bothered me, especially knowing what I know about the power of words, whether they be verbalized or in the form of thoughts. Luckily for me, I knew what to do & took care of it quite rapidly. My life work & passion is to teach others how to do this for themselves.
But, I want much more for them.
We each have our own realm of heightened creativity. It's like a special city or place on our map of life. It is here that we can actively move past pain & problems & then into our own passion or desires. For many of us the roads to this city are unknown or completely blocked by old business, low expectations or thoughts of impossibility......negative fiction. But no matter what happened in the past, we can all go there. I know ithis because I've not only experienced it personally, but over the many years that I've been in the practice of medical & personal development hypnosis, I've had the privilege to witness this road opening over & over again.
I went back to work last Tuesday, just for a short day. It didn't take me long to realize that I'd changed in some rather profound way. Let me share a bit of this with you, because it does have importance to the changes I am currently making.
When one practices hypnotherapy, it is always a different experience with each patient, for each patient is different. There may be twenty who want to lose weight or stop smoking, or improve their memory or reduce their stress...and while the problems appear to be quite general, the person behind the problem is always different, thereby making the problem different in each case.
Each of us has traveled a different road, collected different strengths & weaknesses that have etched a special effect on the generalized problem, rather like the problem had been soaked in an original marinade, perhaps for decades.
So Tuesday morning was like any other morning for me....but then a very strong & heightened creative part of me began conversing, not only with my patients, but with me. I don't know how much you as the reader know about hypnotherapy, but suggestions are usually designed "right in the moment" & come from the subconscious mind of the therapist. They are beautifully pin-pointed towards the specialized needs of the patient.
It happened that my Tuesday morning patients were all well-known to me & so I was progressing down their particular road when all of a sudden the focus shifted slightly. I found myself talking about unexpected accidents & the importance of the body & the mind being prepared to take on the healing from the position of an expert healer & not from the position of a victim.
There was more urgency in the suggestions....All victim thoughts needed to be recognized immediately & removed right then & there. There is no time ever for hanging out in victim stuff. The patient I was working with in that moment happens to be over-weight & has been meandering on her path towards wellness. In truth, she is going forward, but rather just drifting along in a slow sing-song rhythm.
As I re-organized her suggestions, I became intensly aware that I also meander in certain areas of my own life & certainly can get into my own victim thing. My writing & the producing of my CD programs is one of those areas. Over the years I've written & produced hundreds of programs in different genres to meet the needs of my patients & students. Whenever I send these out to mainstream publishers, editors or agents, I tend to hide behind rejections as if I'm guilty of something & then make excuses as to why I cannot find a publisher to market my work in bookstores, etc. as if this were the most important thing in my life......a true Sarah Bernhardt.
Unfortunately, or so I've been told, my work is not considered mainstream by many publishers, editors or agents....rather odd because I sell these very successfully from my website, in fact, all over the world.. I've been in my field for over 30 years & each day I communicate with hundreds of people who go to work each day, but suffer in their own silent jails. I have tremendous compassion for them, for while they are seen, they not truly seen or they are judged in a way that is unjust, perhaps even cruel.
Why does this happen & to so many? As I've studied this part of human behavior, I've come to realize that we are all so lost in our own lives, that we simply have no time or even desire to see the obvious in others. It can truly be a lonely world & because of this lonliness, small problems grow into big ones. These problems we can see & not only do we notice them, but we take the position of judge & jury...
We see fat people, anorexic people, compulsive & obsessive people, nail biters, skin pickers, hair pullers, emotionally weak or stressed out people, uncooperative people, alcoholics, smokers, poor performers, shy people, those who appear lazy & tend to sleep-walk through the day. We see people with latent talent who refuse to be motivated. We see frightened people, some who can't leave their homes & others who simply can't stand up & make a presentation at work. This is just a short list of what we can see if we bother to look.
While these problems & their solutions appear obvious to us as judge & jury, it is not as simple as that. There are underlying reasons for all of this & more. Much has to do with simply not knowing how to come out & face the problem, release it & then manage stress in a healthier fashion. These are things that should have been taught in childhod, but most of the time parents did not have the skills themselves & so there was little or nothing to pass on to the infant, child & teen. While sometimes psychotherapy is required, in many instances all that is needed is to uncover the blocks, bring the awareness free of emotion, release & then plant new images.
So, my work is to work as detective along with the problem-owner. Then we are ready to free the guilt & shame & enter the realm of heightened creativity. This is where the good stuff resides.
I've come to understand & accept that the large majority of professionals in the publishing field aren't familiar with exactly what I do because perhaps they have no reason to know this. I hope you don't misinterpret this. It is not an ego thing........it just the way it is.
Back to last Tuesday. Just as my weight management patient needed to take off her heavy shoes that were interfering with the speed of her travels, I realized that I must do the same. Can someone help me untie this knot in my shoelace?
Thursday, December 13, 2007
What's It to Be......Yes or No?
"Quick decisions are unsafe decisions."... Sophocles
Is It a Yes or a No?
For some reason, today is all about decision making, not only in my own life, but in the lives of those I work with & so I've spent a good part of the day thinking about decision making. Since I'm prone, like most of us, to procrastinating, I "decided" to review my patterns, beliefs & behaviors in this area of my life, hoping that my own self-review will help me to find the right words to help my clients & patients. Perhaps my review might help you to make your decision-making easier over the weekend, especially now that we are entering the holiday-stress month.
Here are some questions I have for mySelf.
What kinds of decision-needing thoughts live in my mind bank & how are they organized?
Am I an avoider? Do I push decision-needing thoughts to the back of the mind or jump into "compulsion?"
Are there particular "words" that generate action, or send me running for cover?
How do I view decisions of others?
Am I quick to self-judge or to judge others?
Am I open to learning, or do I just think that I observe from my automatic-pilot, waking-sleep state?
Yesterday a local man made a bad decision that ended his life. He decided to cool off in a local river after cutting the lawn. According to the newspaper, a 1200 pound alligator ate him.
Just the thought of this makes me ill. I'm a northern-suburban girl living in the south. I had no idea that alligators came that big. Also, I can't imagine jumping into any water down here. Even wading in the Gulf of Mexico has proved to be deadly at certain times of the year when the sharks are more aggressive.
I once took care of a young woman, just eighteen years old, who made a bad decision that changed her life forever. She dove into a swimming pool with insufficient water & ended up a quadriplegic. I remember her telling me about the moment before she decided to dive, a voice told her not to do it. In that split second she could have moved away from decision & into deliberation. I believe that voice was her intuition or subconscious mind attempting to guide her. Unfortunately she decided not to pay attention. I was wondering if the man who jumped into the river had a moment of self-communication with his intuition, or was he just driven by the heat & humidity?
Of course, not all decisions are so life-changing as these, but the ability or inability to make decision can certainly change outcomes, both big & small. When someone has a low self-esteem or self-image, or is prone to compulsion, then there can be trouble underfoot.
I need to question my Self again.
What is the state of my own intuition?
What can I do to enhance my inner communication levels?
I've been thinking about how easy it is to do something totally foolish & seemingly small that can impact so greatly. On the other hand, I don't want to live a life on procrastination-hold. Where can I find this balance?
I was remembering the audio CD programs I designed on decision making. Sometimes I'm so busy that I forget about my own self-needs. Sounds like the plumber with a leaky faucet.
Of course.... I need to work on my concentration & focus, remembering to practice moving out of automatic-pilot & into sensory imaging outcomes. My skill level used to be pretty good with these tools, but I've become a bit complacent over the years.
I also remember that there are thousands of decisions to be made each day. Some of them belong on auto-pilot, such as going to the bathroom, eating meals, going to work & going to sleep, to name a few. Other types of decisions just need a little attention, such as what blouse to wear, what shape pasta to cook, etc. No need to spend lots of time with those. It feels good to break the compulsion to suffer through easy decisions, giving myself permission to just ask, "is it a yes or a no." Simple & direct. Saving the more detailed "decision-work", for those that warrant it.
I remember how the sensory imaging also enhanced my levels of creativity, not only in work, but in relationships & in my sports performance. Concentration combined with the right amount of relaxation, both mentally & physically holds the key to enhanced intuition. The subconscious mind is a great safety & guide, as long as the channels open to allow the communication.
The negative aspects of my mind are trying to debate this conversation I'm having with myself. I'm being reminded that I am far too busy for this kind of self-work. I have programs to write, patients to see, classes to organize & teach. I already know that "I can't do everything", so why not just stop this nonsense & do what's sitting on my desk. "Now, that would be a good decision, wouldn't it?"
How many times I've fallen prey to this part of my personal mindSCRABBLE. I see this in my patients & students. Always feverishly tasking. Never giving the Self permission to stop & review, assess, plan & then incorporate action steps into motivation-imagery.
My negative mind-states are not going to win today. And....that is good news for me, as well as for my projects waiting for me on my desk. They will be there when I'm finished taking care of myself.
"I enhance my intuition by building a strong relationship with my subconscious mind librarian. I relax & see outcomes before they happen. I make wise decisions."....
Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
FROM THE AUTHOR
"Tis the season of making even more decisions & so I'd like to offer you a sample mp3 session from a program I've designed for Decision Making. Here's your opportunity to program your mind to locate those decisions that only require a "yes or no" & to make time for those that require more thought. The entire program is available on my websites.
Is It a Yes or a No?
For some reason, today is all about decision making, not only in my own life, but in the lives of those I work with & so I've spent a good part of the day thinking about decision making. Since I'm prone, like most of us, to procrastinating, I "decided" to review my patterns, beliefs & behaviors in this area of my life, hoping that my own self-review will help me to find the right words to help my clients & patients. Perhaps my review might help you to make your decision-making easier over the weekend, especially now that we are entering the holiday-stress month.
Here are some questions I have for mySelf.
What kinds of decision-needing thoughts live in my mind bank & how are they organized?
Am I an avoider? Do I push decision-needing thoughts to the back of the mind or jump into "compulsion?"
Are there particular "words" that generate action, or send me running for cover?
How do I view decisions of others?
Am I quick to self-judge or to judge others?
Am I open to learning, or do I just think that I observe from my automatic-pilot, waking-sleep state?
Yesterday a local man made a bad decision that ended his life. He decided to cool off in a local river after cutting the lawn. According to the newspaper, a 1200 pound alligator ate him.
Just the thought of this makes me ill. I'm a northern-suburban girl living in the south. I had no idea that alligators came that big. Also, I can't imagine jumping into any water down here. Even wading in the Gulf of Mexico has proved to be deadly at certain times of the year when the sharks are more aggressive.
I once took care of a young woman, just eighteen years old, who made a bad decision that changed her life forever. She dove into a swimming pool with insufficient water & ended up a quadriplegic. I remember her telling me about the moment before she decided to dive, a voice told her not to do it. In that split second she could have moved away from decision & into deliberation. I believe that voice was her intuition or subconscious mind attempting to guide her. Unfortunately she decided not to pay attention. I was wondering if the man who jumped into the river had a moment of self-communication with his intuition, or was he just driven by the heat & humidity?
Of course, not all decisions are so life-changing as these, but the ability or inability to make decision can certainly change outcomes, both big & small. When someone has a low self-esteem or self-image, or is prone to compulsion, then there can be trouble underfoot.
I need to question my Self again.
What is the state of my own intuition?
What can I do to enhance my inner communication levels?
I've been thinking about how easy it is to do something totally foolish & seemingly small that can impact so greatly. On the other hand, I don't want to live a life on procrastination-hold. Where can I find this balance?
I was remembering the audio CD programs I designed on decision making. Sometimes I'm so busy that I forget about my own self-needs. Sounds like the plumber with a leaky faucet.
Of course.... I need to work on my concentration & focus, remembering to practice moving out of automatic-pilot & into sensory imaging outcomes. My skill level used to be pretty good with these tools, but I've become a bit complacent over the years.
I also remember that there are thousands of decisions to be made each day. Some of them belong on auto-pilot, such as going to the bathroom, eating meals, going to work & going to sleep, to name a few. Other types of decisions just need a little attention, such as what blouse to wear, what shape pasta to cook, etc. No need to spend lots of time with those. It feels good to break the compulsion to suffer through easy decisions, giving myself permission to just ask, "is it a yes or a no." Simple & direct. Saving the more detailed "decision-work", for those that warrant it.
I remember how the sensory imaging also enhanced my levels of creativity, not only in work, but in relationships & in my sports performance. Concentration combined with the right amount of relaxation, both mentally & physically holds the key to enhanced intuition. The subconscious mind is a great safety & guide, as long as the channels open to allow the communication.
The negative aspects of my mind are trying to debate this conversation I'm having with myself. I'm being reminded that I am far too busy for this kind of self-work. I have programs to write, patients to see, classes to organize & teach. I already know that "I can't do everything", so why not just stop this nonsense & do what's sitting on my desk. "Now, that would be a good decision, wouldn't it?"
How many times I've fallen prey to this part of my personal mindSCRABBLE. I see this in my patients & students. Always feverishly tasking. Never giving the Self permission to stop & review, assess, plan & then incorporate action steps into motivation-imagery.
My negative mind-states are not going to win today. And....that is good news for me, as well as for my projects waiting for me on my desk. They will be there when I'm finished taking care of myself.
"I enhance my intuition by building a strong relationship with my subconscious mind librarian. I relax & see outcomes before they happen. I make wise decisions."....
Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
FROM THE AUTHOR
"Tis the season of making even more decisions & so I'd like to offer you a sample mp3 session from a program I've designed for Decision Making. Here's your opportunity to program your mind to locate those decisions that only require a "yes or no" & to make time for those that require more thought. The entire program is available on my websites.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Dealing with Double Whammy Failure Bubbles
"Don't let life discourage you; everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was"...Richard L. Evans
"I wake to my perceived failures & mind-edit them easily. I am aware of my internal weather systems. I stay keenly aware of negative-crayoning & make good choices for myself." ...Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
Related Words & Thoughts - default, delinquency, dereliction, neglect, oversight, laxity, negligence, remissness, slackness, indifference, unconcern
It's another day....bringing moments to build our self-image & self-esteem or to diminish them. The moments give us all sorts of opportunities, rather like little bubbles, waiting to be impregnanted with our desires & then floating out on their delivery mission. Not only to we have a multitude of opportunities to design & deliver our desires, but we do the same for others.......much of this done through our very words, thoughts & deeds, for we all mentor each other.
What goes into our moment bubbles, what we think or what we entertain is what we get back & the same goes double for failure. Unfortunately failure bubbles or mindsets are a dime a dozen. You don't have to look far to find them floating around.....bubbles set out by others or more importantly, your very own bubbles. It's rather amazing that we succeed at anything, given our usual interior weather. Look closely.. it's usually either raining, storming, blowing, snowing, cloudy or completely parched & drought-ridden.
Thoughtout this blog I've reminded you to look for emotional carriers, especially those that attempt to color your life with negative mind states. Pay attention to the word attempt. No one can do anything without your permission. Mind-underline that for yourself, for most of us tend to forget it. Just because someone in your environment is coloring in a negative fashion, you do not have to breathe it in. It's like second-hand smoke. You do not have to breathe it in. You have choices.
Even though I can't see or hear you, I have a good idea as to what you are thinking right now, the reason being that in the past, I've said most of these things to myself or to others in relation to myself OR I've heard it from others in my work as a clinical hypnotherapist.
So, let me share this with you ...
Changing mindsets is a skill, just like anything else. Think for a moment about how many things you have learned from the time you were just a baby. Take a mind-visit back to your early childhood & find the time when you simply didn't entertain failure. That time is there......so go find it & then sense yourself reconnecting. However you might like to imagine that....do it. Notice that during this time you were also independent of the negative-crayoning of others. Take your time in this area of self-exploration for it is very important & can work to change your life experiences considerably.
In short, you need to know that you can achieve things. You can work through perceived failure. You can recognize negative-emotional crayoning of others & that you can choose not to accept it.
Now about the definition of failure.... I'm sure that you already know that failing at something just means that you haven't figured out how to do it yet. That is all that it is. Now others might have more to say about it, but again, that is their negative crayoning & you already know what to do about that. In case you have forgotten, or haven't read those blog entries....when you don't want to accept negative-crayoning your task is to ...
1. notice or wake-up
2. breathe from center & relax your body
3. release the image or emotion
4. place a new mind program on your mind screen
When you experiencing a perceived failure, it's time to go back to the drawing board. For most of us, we take too big a chunk & so of course, we tend to choke. Now what would you do if you were choking on something? Well, if it were me, I'd do whatever I had to do to get the offender out of my mouth asap.
It's the same with anything else. Break the perceived failure into pieces & study them independently. It's best to do this in deep relaxation. That way, your own subconscious mind will assist you in finding a better way. If you experience mind-confusion when you try to do this.....the chunk is simply too big OR you haven't quieted the mind sufficiently.
Most of you have heard about your intuition or inner knowing. That is your subconscious mind in action. In order to take full advantage of it, you must relax very deeply & then you will be gifted with eureka break-through thoughts or ideas or serendipity. Nothing is free in life. As I tell my patients, the piper must be paid. If you want your own mind to assist you, it is up to you to change your internal weather system.
FROM THE AUTHOR
"Tis the season of over-indulgence & so I'd like to offer you a sample mp3 session from a program I've designed for Compulsive Shopping. Here's your opportunity to program your mind to enjoy your shopping experience, while managing those out of control emotions that tend to take over, especially during this time of year. This program also assists in managing other compulsive behaviors. The entire program is available on my websites.
"I wake to my perceived failures & mind-edit them easily. I am aware of my internal weather systems. I stay keenly aware of negative-crayoning & make good choices for myself." ...Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
Related Words & Thoughts - default, delinquency, dereliction, neglect, oversight, laxity, negligence, remissness, slackness, indifference, unconcern
It's another day....bringing moments to build our self-image & self-esteem or to diminish them. The moments give us all sorts of opportunities, rather like little bubbles, waiting to be impregnanted with our desires & then floating out on their delivery mission. Not only to we have a multitude of opportunities to design & deliver our desires, but we do the same for others.......much of this done through our very words, thoughts & deeds, for we all mentor each other.
What goes into our moment bubbles, what we think or what we entertain is what we get back & the same goes double for failure. Unfortunately failure bubbles or mindsets are a dime a dozen. You don't have to look far to find them floating around.....bubbles set out by others or more importantly, your very own bubbles. It's rather amazing that we succeed at anything, given our usual interior weather. Look closely.. it's usually either raining, storming, blowing, snowing, cloudy or completely parched & drought-ridden.
Thoughtout this blog I've reminded you to look for emotional carriers, especially those that attempt to color your life with negative mind states. Pay attention to the word attempt. No one can do anything without your permission. Mind-underline that for yourself, for most of us tend to forget it. Just because someone in your environment is coloring in a negative fashion, you do not have to breathe it in. It's like second-hand smoke. You do not have to breathe it in. You have choices.
Even though I can't see or hear you, I have a good idea as to what you are thinking right now, the reason being that in the past, I've said most of these things to myself or to others in relation to myself OR I've heard it from others in my work as a clinical hypnotherapist.
So, let me share this with you ...
Changing mindsets is a skill, just like anything else. Think for a moment about how many things you have learned from the time you were just a baby. Take a mind-visit back to your early childhood & find the time when you simply didn't entertain failure. That time is there......so go find it & then sense yourself reconnecting. However you might like to imagine that....do it. Notice that during this time you were also independent of the negative-crayoning of others. Take your time in this area of self-exploration for it is very important & can work to change your life experiences considerably.
In short, you need to know that you can achieve things. You can work through perceived failure. You can recognize negative-emotional crayoning of others & that you can choose not to accept it.
Now about the definition of failure.... I'm sure that you already know that failing at something just means that you haven't figured out how to do it yet. That is all that it is. Now others might have more to say about it, but again, that is their negative crayoning & you already know what to do about that. In case you have forgotten, or haven't read those blog entries....when you don't want to accept negative-crayoning your task is to ...
1. notice or wake-up
2. breathe from center & relax your body
3. release the image or emotion
4. place a new mind program on your mind screen
When you experiencing a perceived failure, it's time to go back to the drawing board. For most of us, we take too big a chunk & so of course, we tend to choke. Now what would you do if you were choking on something? Well, if it were me, I'd do whatever I had to do to get the offender out of my mouth asap.
It's the same with anything else. Break the perceived failure into pieces & study them independently. It's best to do this in deep relaxation. That way, your own subconscious mind will assist you in finding a better way. If you experience mind-confusion when you try to do this.....the chunk is simply too big OR you haven't quieted the mind sufficiently.
Most of you have heard about your intuition or inner knowing. That is your subconscious mind in action. In order to take full advantage of it, you must relax very deeply & then you will be gifted with eureka break-through thoughts or ideas or serendipity. Nothing is free in life. As I tell my patients, the piper must be paid. If you want your own mind to assist you, it is up to you to change your internal weather system.
FROM THE AUTHOR
"Tis the season of over-indulgence & so I'd like to offer you a sample mp3 session from a program I've designed for Compulsive Shopping. Here's your opportunity to program your mind to enjoy your shopping experience, while managing those out of control emotions that tend to take over, especially during this time of year. This program also assists in managing other compulsive behaviors. The entire program is available on my websites.
Sunday, December 9, 2007
Measuring Self-Pleasuring
"Do not bite at the bait of pleasure till you know there is no hook beneath it."... Thomas Jefferson
"My mind is my most important digestive organ. If I put junk food in my mind, I will be malnourished. I'm willing to let go & to make changes. It's time."....
Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
Everything is about choice & that includes how we choose to pleasure ourselves, including how much! The holidays are one of those times when it's not uncommon to pull out all the stops. Unfortunately, be it shopping or any other example of over-pleasuring, the piper will be paid, be it in a larger than life credit card statement, or a larger than life Self on the scale.
Watch out for the hooks...
It's so easy to fall in love.....& with so many choices, one must be careful to look for that hook. As a clinical hypnotherapist, I work all day, removing hooks & healing the wounds. Some people are so in love with a particular brand of hook, that they actually go out to find another one just like the one that was previously removed. This can even happen before the old wounds are healed, as if the new one will help that process along.
While the love-ordained bait may change, one's hook-preference often remains the same. This is very common in the realm of addictions, be they chemical, food-related or even in relationships. Stop smoking & eat sugar. Stop drinking & drink more coffee. Cut out the coffee & increase the soda. Stop buying shoes & hang out in the book store. Divorce an abusive mate & find another one.
People find pleasure in the strangest things. One of my anorexic patients finds her joy in keeping her weight as low as possible. It doesn't seem to matter that her body is suffering & some of the damage she is causing is permanent, or is setting her up for plenty of displeasure down the road. For her, it is unacceptable to change this hook for a healthier one.
Helping this patient to move away from this pleasure-state & into something would be much more difficult without utilizing hypnotherapy. In hypnotic trance the patient's resistance & defensiveness can be lowered. Here is where the power of choice words & metaphor comes into play.
Fear of letting go the hook is always a hypnotherapeutic consideration. It's not uncommon for pleasure-words to cover this particular emotional barrier. The individual can actually set up a belief that the activity or behavior is pleasurable, when subconsciously they are simply frightened of letting go of it.
I have experienced this myself, in relation to a few of my own pleasures. Shopping was one of these. It wasn't until I self-examined my shopping behaviors & habits that I uncovered how truly tense they made me. Certainly that tension increased when my credit card arrived. Working with spending habits often opens the subconscious library for indepth personal development work. What one finds beneath the surface is often quite illuminating.
Why do so many people have unhealthy pleasures? That's a question I've often asked myself & especially when I meet up with such a vast variety of these in my office practice. An answer, or at least a partial answer, to this question can be found in lack of knowledge & practice of stress management. Take a look at how you release your stress on a given day. You will find the patterns there. Check if they are healthy or harmful. Try to be honest.
While stopping for a drink on the way home may not appear to be a big thing, check this behavior for frequency, as well as the level of desire. How would you respond if you couldn't do it anymore? I heard a lady tell her friend that she would absolutely die if she couldn't binge on popcorn in the movie theater. While that might sound like an exaggeration, this is not the first time I've heard words such as these connected to stopping a potentially harmful behavior.
So, check out your pleasures & give them the litmus test. If they need some cleaning up, decide how you will go about doing this for yourself. At the same time, make certain that you are developing new stress management techniques that will grow into healthy pleasures......if you give them a fair shot.
FROM THE AUTHOR
"Tis the season of over-indulgence & so I'd like to offer you a sample mp3 session from a program I've designed for Compulsive Shopping. Here's your opportunity to program your mind to enjoy your shopping experience, while managing those out of control emotions that tend to take over, especially during this time of year. This program also assists in managing other compulsive behaviors. The entire program is available on my websites.
"My mind is my most important digestive organ. If I put junk food in my mind, I will be malnourished. I'm willing to let go & to make changes. It's time."....
Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
Everything is about choice & that includes how we choose to pleasure ourselves, including how much! The holidays are one of those times when it's not uncommon to pull out all the stops. Unfortunately, be it shopping or any other example of over-pleasuring, the piper will be paid, be it in a larger than life credit card statement, or a larger than life Self on the scale.
Watch out for the hooks...
It's so easy to fall in love.....& with so many choices, one must be careful to look for that hook. As a clinical hypnotherapist, I work all day, removing hooks & healing the wounds. Some people are so in love with a particular brand of hook, that they actually go out to find another one just like the one that was previously removed. This can even happen before the old wounds are healed, as if the new one will help that process along.
While the love-ordained bait may change, one's hook-preference often remains the same. This is very common in the realm of addictions, be they chemical, food-related or even in relationships. Stop smoking & eat sugar. Stop drinking & drink more coffee. Cut out the coffee & increase the soda. Stop buying shoes & hang out in the book store. Divorce an abusive mate & find another one.
People find pleasure in the strangest things. One of my anorexic patients finds her joy in keeping her weight as low as possible. It doesn't seem to matter that her body is suffering & some of the damage she is causing is permanent, or is setting her up for plenty of displeasure down the road. For her, it is unacceptable to change this hook for a healthier one.
Helping this patient to move away from this pleasure-state & into something would be much more difficult without utilizing hypnotherapy. In hypnotic trance the patient's resistance & defensiveness can be lowered. Here is where the power of choice words & metaphor comes into play.
Fear of letting go the hook is always a hypnotherapeutic consideration. It's not uncommon for pleasure-words to cover this particular emotional barrier. The individual can actually set up a belief that the activity or behavior is pleasurable, when subconsciously they are simply frightened of letting go of it.
I have experienced this myself, in relation to a few of my own pleasures. Shopping was one of these. It wasn't until I self-examined my shopping behaviors & habits that I uncovered how truly tense they made me. Certainly that tension increased when my credit card arrived. Working with spending habits often opens the subconscious library for indepth personal development work. What one finds beneath the surface is often quite illuminating.
Why do so many people have unhealthy pleasures? That's a question I've often asked myself & especially when I meet up with such a vast variety of these in my office practice. An answer, or at least a partial answer, to this question can be found in lack of knowledge & practice of stress management. Take a look at how you release your stress on a given day. You will find the patterns there. Check if they are healthy or harmful. Try to be honest.
While stopping for a drink on the way home may not appear to be a big thing, check this behavior for frequency, as well as the level of desire. How would you respond if you couldn't do it anymore? I heard a lady tell her friend that she would absolutely die if she couldn't binge on popcorn in the movie theater. While that might sound like an exaggeration, this is not the first time I've heard words such as these connected to stopping a potentially harmful behavior.
So, check out your pleasures & give them the litmus test. If they need some cleaning up, decide how you will go about doing this for yourself. At the same time, make certain that you are developing new stress management techniques that will grow into healthy pleasures......if you give them a fair shot.
FROM THE AUTHOR
"Tis the season of over-indulgence & so I'd like to offer you a sample mp3 session from a program I've designed for Compulsive Shopping. Here's your opportunity to program your mind to enjoy your shopping experience, while managing those out of control emotions that tend to take over, especially during this time of year. This program also assists in managing other compulsive behaviors. The entire program is available on my websites.
Saturday, December 8, 2007
Breaking Through Powerlessness
Only a strong tree can stand alone...Arnold Glasow
"Yes, like a strong tree with deep roots, I remember that I am a resilient human being. I wake up to ideas of powerlessness & choose to activate my resilient bank account". ...Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
Related Words & Mind States - helpless, impotent, inactive, inert, passive, supine; decrepit, feeble, infirm, weak, incapable, incompetent, ineffective, unfit
Just sitting here & reading the related words to powerlessness depletes me. It's so easy to notice how powerful language can be & especially when coupled with past experiences & negative suggestions from others. It certainly isn't difficult to become self-paralyzed.
I turn on the television & see the such difficult images coming out of areas devastated by the horrific storms in India. Then I notice those individuals that are showing strength & conviction...some praying, others just waiting patiently, trusting that help will come. As difficult as it is to look at these images, they are truly empowering....I'm reminded that we get our muscle from beliefs that reside inside our selves, as well as from beliefs that reside inside others.
I read my email messages & find them filled with people feeling powerless about this, that or the other. My patient schedule for tomorrow reports the same. I look at my desk, wondering if the projects sitting there will ever be completed. What about the holidays this year. Will they be as difficult as last year? My own brand of powerless- thinking. How easy it is to be lost in this quagmire. Yes, it helps to remind myself that my life is good today. I could be spending the day standing in the heat, waiting for a bottle of water, praying for rice.
This kind of awareness works, but just for the moment.
I need something much more to nibble away at this old automatic pilot thought pattern. I take some time just for me even though my desk looms large in front of me. I've been around long enough to know how deadly powerlessness can be & so I must give the time to the priority of the moment, even though my child-self wants to do other things. Do we have any chocolate ice cream? When do we get to go home? Can we have pizza for dinner? I'll feel better if I take a nap. Can I read that catalog & order something? I don't want to go to school tonight. Perhaps just one cup of coffee?
It's not uncommon to be visited by the addictions or other stress-release mechanisms, most of which are not healthy. But when I notice their arrival, I'm even more certain that it is time to relax deeply & touch base with my inner strengths or core-Self. True, I don't live in the devastated areas, but my mind & body are responding in a sympathetic dance to the images. I can feel my own paralysis, much of which is connected to memories of when I was in very difficult situations that I perceived as helpless & hopeless.
It's no accident that I was remembering an entire decade that I lost to a chronic illness. The images were so vivid AS IF it were happening right now. I was reliving the fear of dying along with the exhaustion of living, just as if I was clinging onto anything that appeared stable. This is how the mind works & this is why it is so very important to wake-up to what's going on & to set things in better order.
One might say that it's normal to react like this. After all, these are terrible tragedies. However, I know it is better to to handle my emotions in a way that releases negative stress chemicals, for there is nothing positive about that. Then, I'm free to move into a position of strength & compassion....set for action.
We all have areas of strength located in the library of our mind. These areas were constructed right from the beginning....birth. If you have ever been witness to an actual birth, I'm sure you would agree that the infant shows incredible power & tenacity as she/he moves through the birth canal. This definitely isn't for wimps! Each & every day the infant becomes more & more resilient, surmounting all sorts of challenges from day one.
It's a good idea to think about your own resilience bank account, paying attention to all of the times you survived your experiences. Of course, all of them weren't huge like my decade long illness or being left without water or food for days on end, but they are survivals never the less & you do have a resilience bank account. This is your equity when powerlessness comes knocking at the door.
As I visit this area in my mind, I physically tune into the accumulated resilience, allowing it to enter my being. In the practice of hypnosis it is very important to foster positive, chemical changes in the body. On occasion, we may foster negative chemical changes, but only for very special reasons & never for a long period of time. For example, I can visit an experience when I made myself sick from over-eating chocolate. I may decide to visit or sense the nausea, just to wake myself up to what will happen if I do the same thing again.
Yes, this is a form of resilience & I'm sure you all have similar memories that you could choose to visit. However, stick to your positive survival power & save the negatives for when you need a shot of motivation that only that negative can provide.
Once you feel your inner strength or resilience, take it back into the moment or future-pace it. It's like a postage stamp. You can take it & place it wherever you might need it. Truly sense it in those moments. This is what people do when faced with tremendous tragedy or difficulty. They go & round up their beliefs & resilience. The affirmations go like this. As you repeat these, truly feel them entering your mind, as well as your body.....I AM. I CAN. I WILL. I DID. I AM.
FROM THE AUTHOR
The holidays can often bring out emotions that are extremely difficult, especially because they are often connected to child experiences & lost dreams. As we learn to transmute or change the more toxic emotions or patterns, the mind opens, offering all sorts of gifts....selfGIFTS. Today I'm going to offer you a sample mp3 from my collection. It's called Affirmations for Enhancing Resilience. It will help you to plant programs to help manage depression & other emotional imbalances, as well as to open your store of creativity & prosperity. I hope you enjoy it. The full program is available on my websites.
"Yes, like a strong tree with deep roots, I remember that I am a resilient human being. I wake up to ideas of powerlessness & choose to activate my resilient bank account". ...Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
Related Words & Mind States - helpless, impotent, inactive, inert, passive, supine; decrepit, feeble, infirm, weak, incapable, incompetent, ineffective, unfit
Just sitting here & reading the related words to powerlessness depletes me. It's so easy to notice how powerful language can be & especially when coupled with past experiences & negative suggestions from others. It certainly isn't difficult to become self-paralyzed.
I turn on the television & see the such difficult images coming out of areas devastated by the horrific storms in India. Then I notice those individuals that are showing strength & conviction...some praying, others just waiting patiently, trusting that help will come. As difficult as it is to look at these images, they are truly empowering....I'm reminded that we get our muscle from beliefs that reside inside our selves, as well as from beliefs that reside inside others.
I read my email messages & find them filled with people feeling powerless about this, that or the other. My patient schedule for tomorrow reports the same. I look at my desk, wondering if the projects sitting there will ever be completed. What about the holidays this year. Will they be as difficult as last year? My own brand of powerless- thinking. How easy it is to be lost in this quagmire. Yes, it helps to remind myself that my life is good today. I could be spending the day standing in the heat, waiting for a bottle of water, praying for rice.
This kind of awareness works, but just for the moment.
I need something much more to nibble away at this old automatic pilot thought pattern. I take some time just for me even though my desk looms large in front of me. I've been around long enough to know how deadly powerlessness can be & so I must give the time to the priority of the moment, even though my child-self wants to do other things. Do we have any chocolate ice cream? When do we get to go home? Can we have pizza for dinner? I'll feel better if I take a nap. Can I read that catalog & order something? I don't want to go to school tonight. Perhaps just one cup of coffee?
It's not uncommon to be visited by the addictions or other stress-release mechanisms, most of which are not healthy. But when I notice their arrival, I'm even more certain that it is time to relax deeply & touch base with my inner strengths or core-Self. True, I don't live in the devastated areas, but my mind & body are responding in a sympathetic dance to the images. I can feel my own paralysis, much of which is connected to memories of when I was in very difficult situations that I perceived as helpless & hopeless.
It's no accident that I was remembering an entire decade that I lost to a chronic illness. The images were so vivid AS IF it were happening right now. I was reliving the fear of dying along with the exhaustion of living, just as if I was clinging onto anything that appeared stable. This is how the mind works & this is why it is so very important to wake-up to what's going on & to set things in better order.
One might say that it's normal to react like this. After all, these are terrible tragedies. However, I know it is better to to handle my emotions in a way that releases negative stress chemicals, for there is nothing positive about that. Then, I'm free to move into a position of strength & compassion....set for action.
We all have areas of strength located in the library of our mind. These areas were constructed right from the beginning....birth. If you have ever been witness to an actual birth, I'm sure you would agree that the infant shows incredible power & tenacity as she/he moves through the birth canal. This definitely isn't for wimps! Each & every day the infant becomes more & more resilient, surmounting all sorts of challenges from day one.
It's a good idea to think about your own resilience bank account, paying attention to all of the times you survived your experiences. Of course, all of them weren't huge like my decade long illness or being left without water or food for days on end, but they are survivals never the less & you do have a resilience bank account. This is your equity when powerlessness comes knocking at the door.
As I visit this area in my mind, I physically tune into the accumulated resilience, allowing it to enter my being. In the practice of hypnosis it is very important to foster positive, chemical changes in the body. On occasion, we may foster negative chemical changes, but only for very special reasons & never for a long period of time. For example, I can visit an experience when I made myself sick from over-eating chocolate. I may decide to visit or sense the nausea, just to wake myself up to what will happen if I do the same thing again.
Yes, this is a form of resilience & I'm sure you all have similar memories that you could choose to visit. However, stick to your positive survival power & save the negatives for when you need a shot of motivation that only that negative can provide.
Once you feel your inner strength or resilience, take it back into the moment or future-pace it. It's like a postage stamp. You can take it & place it wherever you might need it. Truly sense it in those moments. This is what people do when faced with tremendous tragedy or difficulty. They go & round up their beliefs & resilience. The affirmations go like this. As you repeat these, truly feel them entering your mind, as well as your body.....I AM. I CAN. I WILL. I DID. I AM.
FROM THE AUTHOR
The holidays can often bring out emotions that are extremely difficult, especially because they are often connected to child experiences & lost dreams. As we learn to transmute or change the more toxic emotions or patterns, the mind opens, offering all sorts of gifts....selfGIFTS. Today I'm going to offer you a sample mp3 from my collection. It's called Affirmations for Enhancing Resilience. It will help you to plant programs to help manage depression & other emotional imbalances, as well as to open your store of creativity & prosperity. I hope you enjoy it. The full program is available on my websites.
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
The Power of Quiet Assertiveness
"Look well into thyself; there is a source of strength that will always spring up if thou wilt always look there"... Marcus Aurelius Antoninus
"There is usually no need to yell or stamp your feet. Your personal power lies in quiet assertiveness...not only with others, but within yourself as well."...Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
Related Emotions - emphatic, forceful, insistent, resounding
I must be developing some sort of blog-obsession. When I wake in the morning I find myself searching for my blog-subject of the day. While this is a bit annoying, I can satisfy my mind quite quickly with a quick decision. And then.....the day officially opens & I find myself changing that easily determined subject idea. I know you don't know me, but I can assure you that I'm not a flip-flopper. It's just that each day seems to have it's own the theme of the day that begs to be addressed & sometimes that need is big. It certainly was today.......& the day isn't over yet!
Usually themes really hang out. When they come to visit, they tend to stay. I'm sure you've noticed this in your own life. The theme may roll in gently OR it may arrive with a bang. This morning it was a bang. I had planned on blogging more on dreams for they are favorite subjects of mine & I've gotten fairly good at programming specific dreams, as well as remembering them in good detail. I just love writing about this part of my work, especially because I know how helpful it can be for healing & enhancing creativity. But that will have to wait for another day.
I opened the computer to begin working & decided to check my email. There it was........the theme. I opened three emails & found it smiling out at me. When you've been working in a field as long as I have, you do know when a theme has knocked at the door. This particular theme had to do with the verbal victimization of adult-children by parents or significant others & those adult-children cowering to it. For me, it is like rubbing salt in a wound.
I had to run some errands & found myself in the presence of adults with young children. There was the theme again.... only this time real children were being verbally victimized by their parents. It was like I was viewing the coming attractions to the adult-lives of the young children I was observing. How easy it is to harm a young mind & how long those programs can play out into adulthood causing all kinds of havoc. Adult-children still cowering, just like the young ones I was watching. I truly felt sick.
I went to the office & met up with a new patient. You guessed it.......the theme again. This particular patient came for weight management, but it became abundantly clear that her food bingeing was all about early verbal abuses that were never addressed & she still was accepting them, as if she didn't have a choice in the matter. While her mother, the original deliverer was deceased, she had a new deliverer, her husband. The messages were almost the same. She never learned along the way that while the doorbell may ring, one doesn't have to answer it. In addition, if there is a deliver, one doesn't have to accept the package ......unless one truly wants it.
In my experience we can all do with some assertiveness training work.
Being assertive does not mean being aggressive, although, I was just very aggressive & assertive on the phone a few minutes ago. Years ago I wouldn't have been able to do that & if I did, I'd probably be telling myself what I terrible person I am & no wonder no one liked me. Think about those mind programs! Not very healthy & certainly not very helpful.
So, this is what I help my office patients & my mp3/CD listeners to program in Interactive Self-Hypnosis...
1. We will work to enhance your ability to be assertive. Framing something as an ability says a lot to the subconscious mind. Becoming assertive is a skill that we get good at by practice. Remember, practice makes perfect....or almost.
2. We will work to enhance your ability to speak up for what you need, to speak up for what you want, to set boundaries, to learn to say now, to see yourself being in charge of the quality of your life in your mind's eye & knowing/believing that you deserve the very best.
3. We will work to enhance your inner programming to expect to receive the very best for you from others & also from yourself....& to give the very best to yourself in each moment.
4. It's important to know that defects in programming begin very early in your life & these defects have been closely tied to the development of your self-image & self-esteem. In other words, how you see yourself & feel/believe about yourself.
5. Early programming defects present false beliefs as truths, disallowing you from seeing yourself as you truly are....a human being with rights, with needs, with desires....a dignified human being harboring the rightful expectation of being treated with respect. Many people may have assisted with placing defective programs in your inner library & often this was not intentional, but actually followed their automatic behaviors that were out of balance in some way. While this isn't an excuse, knowing this can give us the power we need to change these very old programs.
In the practice of Interactive Self-Hypnosis we build new models for representing & caring for ourselves with respect & dignity. We expect this from ourselves & from others. If others miss the mark, we make it clear that this is not acceptable. We don't have to shout or get into our child-self to do this. Actually this is never a position of power. In Interactive Self-Hypnosis we are always in direct communication with the Higher Part or Mature Part of ourselves that takes charge when the going gets rough for the inner-child.
We were born alone & we will die alone. What we achieve & how we achieve it is up to us. We teach people how to treat us & it is never too late to get these lessons straight.
"I respect & honor myself. I teach others to do the same through my healthy beliefs, my healthy actions & by setting healthy boundaries." ...Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
FROM THE AUTHOR
This is a very special time of year....an emotional time....& one that invites self-review. Many of us abuse others & even ourSelves without even realizing it. Old patterns seem to rise up easily during the stress of the holidays. I'd like to offer you a sample mp3 from my collection. It's called Affirmations for Becoming Assertive. It will help you to plant programs to help manage stress, as well as to stand up tall. I hope you enjoy it. The full program is available on my websites.
"There is usually no need to yell or stamp your feet. Your personal power lies in quiet assertiveness...not only with others, but within yourself as well."...Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
Related Emotions - emphatic, forceful, insistent, resounding
I must be developing some sort of blog-obsession. When I wake in the morning I find myself searching for my blog-subject of the day. While this is a bit annoying, I can satisfy my mind quite quickly with a quick decision. And then.....the day officially opens & I find myself changing that easily determined subject idea. I know you don't know me, but I can assure you that I'm not a flip-flopper. It's just that each day seems to have it's own the theme of the day that begs to be addressed & sometimes that need is big. It certainly was today.......& the day isn't over yet!
Usually themes really hang out. When they come to visit, they tend to stay. I'm sure you've noticed this in your own life. The theme may roll in gently OR it may arrive with a bang. This morning it was a bang. I had planned on blogging more on dreams for they are favorite subjects of mine & I've gotten fairly good at programming specific dreams, as well as remembering them in good detail. I just love writing about this part of my work, especially because I know how helpful it can be for healing & enhancing creativity. But that will have to wait for another day.
I opened the computer to begin working & decided to check my email. There it was........the theme. I opened three emails & found it smiling out at me. When you've been working in a field as long as I have, you do know when a theme has knocked at the door. This particular theme had to do with the verbal victimization of adult-children by parents or significant others & those adult-children cowering to it. For me, it is like rubbing salt in a wound.
I had to run some errands & found myself in the presence of adults with young children. There was the theme again.... only this time real children were being verbally victimized by their parents. It was like I was viewing the coming attractions to the adult-lives of the young children I was observing. How easy it is to harm a young mind & how long those programs can play out into adulthood causing all kinds of havoc. Adult-children still cowering, just like the young ones I was watching. I truly felt sick.
I went to the office & met up with a new patient. You guessed it.......the theme again. This particular patient came for weight management, but it became abundantly clear that her food bingeing was all about early verbal abuses that were never addressed & she still was accepting them, as if she didn't have a choice in the matter. While her mother, the original deliverer was deceased, she had a new deliverer, her husband. The messages were almost the same. She never learned along the way that while the doorbell may ring, one doesn't have to answer it. In addition, if there is a deliver, one doesn't have to accept the package ......unless one truly wants it.
In my experience we can all do with some assertiveness training work.
Being assertive does not mean being aggressive, although, I was just very aggressive & assertive on the phone a few minutes ago. Years ago I wouldn't have been able to do that & if I did, I'd probably be telling myself what I terrible person I am & no wonder no one liked me. Think about those mind programs! Not very healthy & certainly not very helpful.
So, this is what I help my office patients & my mp3/CD listeners to program in Interactive Self-Hypnosis...
1. We will work to enhance your ability to be assertive. Framing something as an ability says a lot to the subconscious mind. Becoming assertive is a skill that we get good at by practice. Remember, practice makes perfect....or almost.
2. We will work to enhance your ability to speak up for what you need, to speak up for what you want, to set boundaries, to learn to say now, to see yourself being in charge of the quality of your life in your mind's eye & knowing/believing that you deserve the very best.
3. We will work to enhance your inner programming to expect to receive the very best for you from others & also from yourself....& to give the very best to yourself in each moment.
4. It's important to know that defects in programming begin very early in your life & these defects have been closely tied to the development of your self-image & self-esteem. In other words, how you see yourself & feel/believe about yourself.
5. Early programming defects present false beliefs as truths, disallowing you from seeing yourself as you truly are....a human being with rights, with needs, with desires....a dignified human being harboring the rightful expectation of being treated with respect. Many people may have assisted with placing defective programs in your inner library & often this was not intentional, but actually followed their automatic behaviors that were out of balance in some way. While this isn't an excuse, knowing this can give us the power we need to change these very old programs.
In the practice of Interactive Self-Hypnosis we build new models for representing & caring for ourselves with respect & dignity. We expect this from ourselves & from others. If others miss the mark, we make it clear that this is not acceptable. We don't have to shout or get into our child-self to do this. Actually this is never a position of power. In Interactive Self-Hypnosis we are always in direct communication with the Higher Part or Mature Part of ourselves that takes charge when the going gets rough for the inner-child.
We were born alone & we will die alone. What we achieve & how we achieve it is up to us. We teach people how to treat us & it is never too late to get these lessons straight.
"I respect & honor myself. I teach others to do the same through my healthy beliefs, my healthy actions & by setting healthy boundaries." ...Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
FROM THE AUTHOR
This is a very special time of year....an emotional time....& one that invites self-review. Many of us abuse others & even ourSelves without even realizing it. Old patterns seem to rise up easily during the stress of the holidays. I'd like to offer you a sample mp3 from my collection. It's called Affirmations for Becoming Assertive. It will help you to plant programs to help manage stress, as well as to stand up tall. I hope you enjoy it. The full program is available on my websites.
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