"Truth be known, we are always in the state of recovery. Sometimes it's quite obvious & other times it's barely discernable, but it is recovery never the less"... Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
Two weeks ago I fell off the top of my desk while changing a cartridge in my fax......a rather silly thing....OH put down the silly word.... I'm not about to hide behind myself.....it was a rather stupid thing to do. As a result of this extremely bad moment of judgment, my life took quite a few turns, some more major than others. I couldn't walk, I couldn't put weight on my left leg, I couldn't stand, I couldn't sit, I couldn't lie down.
It was quite amazing to have absolutely no where to go to experience even a moments relief. And so, I couldn't go to work, nor cook or do anything else. On a somewhat lesser note, I became "unblogged" which may sound like a small thing, but it was not. Writing my blog is part of my life, perhaps not one that sustains me in any financial way, but it is meaningful never the less.
My life changed in many ways over the past two weeks. I'm a different person now. Accidents change people. Active recovery changes people. Nothing about it is fun, nor would I care to repeat any of it. HOWEVER, it has been an excellent learning experience & in a way, I'm a better person for falling off my desk.
I'm now out of the acute phase & into what is known as recovery.. Recovery is an interesting word. Truth be known, we are always involved in recovery. Either we are recovering actively from something, or we are involved in designing a recovery plan for some part of our work or life. As a nursing administrator I've worked on many potential disaster or recovery committees. As a wife & mother, I do the same at home.
Recovery begins long before any episode that may or may not happen. We have a ongoing mind folder that is labeled disaster plan or recovery plan. Some of us do understand this folder very well, perhaps because we have actually lived through disasters & found the weaknesses in our programs. Those weaknesses became our motivators.....we listened well, accepted our errors & became creative in not only correcting, but making things much better than before. In case you are wondering, I now have a mind folder for changing the ink jet in my fax machine. To be sure, the plan is very different from the one I carried out.
It does help to make mistakes. This is how we get better, but. some lessons are definitely harder than others. The people in who were hit by Katrina & now Rita know plenty about this. When all is said & done, these people will be very different in many ways. Children become adults overnight, seeing & experiencing things that are not meant for their eyes or psyches. Trust is lost, perhaps never to be gained again. Laughter, abandonment & pure joy will be more difficult to find & perhaps feeling wrong for a very long time. This is all part of the grieving process, some of which will never end.
So, what do we do in order to find & accept a new normal? If you have faith in a Higher Power, turn to that for solace, as well as for direction & motivation to get moving again. Take your mountainous problems & break them into smaller, more manageable pieces. For me, it is one baby step at a time.
I must put my old life on a back burner & work towards my new normal, knowing that once I've achieved that, then I'll be ready to go up a few pegs, hopefully nearer to my old normal OR even better. I stop moaning about what I can't do & do what I can. I trust in my body. I've taken good care of it for a very long time & now is the time to reap the benefits of that work. If you are not caring for yourself at optimum levels, begin today. You never know when you might do something stupid without thinking. Work on paying attention to what you do. We are all vulnerable.
Don't let the levies remain weak. I was just listening to the news about the levies in Galveston & I couldn't believe my ears. Some of them are cracked & very vulnerable! How could this have been ignored. Hurricanes happen.........accidents happen! Be prepared. Take good care of yourself & your environment. Fight, fight, fight. Don't be a quiet observer. You may live to regret it. Once you fall off the desk, the rest is history. Lucky for me my levies were in good condition from years of excellent self-maintenance. Yes, I'm injured, but I'm going to recover & hopefully to be much better than before.
Victims usually don't happen overnight. Take time today to check in on yourself. Where are you weak? What do you need to do? What will you do today? Do it now.
