Friday, August 3, 2007
Inside Secret Eating - Inner Scripting
You become what you think about, all day long. In addition, your inner mind-chatter or thoughts keep you on your path & direct your outcomes. So....watch out for them!....Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
Addictive secrets, including secret eating, is like an octopus, with only the head above the water. The real issues tend to stay hidden below the surface & some are so deep that even their owner isn't aware of them. Those harboring secrets often live in disbelief that they can be helped, despite wanting to be helped. If you have the opportunity to meet the secret's owner, you may here things like, "Well, I'll try." Pay attention, because it's not just the words, but the inflection & the body language. "Try" is a doorknob word. It's an escape word. It's just like the excuse word, "but." All of these words are connected to the expectation of failing & so it's important to let the reader or listener know what you now know. Those words need to be X'd out.....right on the tongue or airwaves. These are totally unacceptable.
We do not "try." We actually "do". And so, the affirmation or positive intention is about "doing." When Aida worked with her first set of images in the theater of the mind, she was not wishy-washy about what needed to be changed. She studied the situation in detail & then she changed what needed to be changed, including the emotions that were hanging around the scene. Then, she allowed the performance to continue & when she noticed other areas that would benefit from change, she went ahead & acted on her decisions. She was the writer, director & producer. She was not the issues that were playing out.
Aida has come to know that this is a personal affair. She is practicing self-responsibility & is paraticipating in seleting realigning & updating myths or old patterns that she has been following on "automatic pilot." The facets of the patterns contain actions or behaviors, as well as emotional marinades & thoughts or mind-chatter. All are important & all need reviewing. If you are wondering about the amount of time it takes to do this, well do know that it takes plenty of time. But here's the catch. Either you do it or you don't. You are going to have outcomes no matter what & so you get to choose. What is it that you want?
Most of us want immediate gratification & you can certainly have that. Any change that you make in any moment will give you instant or immediate gratification. All you have to do is frame it in that way. If you eat chocolate cake, you have all sorts of immediate gratification. If you choose not to eat chocolate cake, you also can have immediate gratification. Try it.
Learning to observe thoughts is key to changing anything & everything. Aida has much to learn in this department, as her inner chatter is both negative & tough. She wasn't aware of a good part of this, mainly because she wasn't tuned it. She was either working & trying to succeed, or hypnotized in front of her computer or television, using the food to keep her in that mind & body state. As she tells it, "I could hear part of me saying that I was killing myself, but I turned it off, because I simply didn't care. I didn't want to have my "binge moments" ruined. I waited all day to binge & so I told the voice to shut up. What do you want from me? How much do I have to do to be left alone? Don't I work hard enough?"
It's easy to see that Aida positions herself in a victim-state. This is an extremely powerful mind & body state & is capable of producing lots of stress chemica further embedding the myth or pattern. It's a totally exhausting scenario, both emotionally & physically, tantamount to having a huge fight with someone close to you. In this case, Aida is in battle with herself & when this happens, the "disorderly core" wins.
It was easier for Aida to manage the walk-by eating scene, probably because it wasn't so emotionally charged. Her major evening binge is a different can of worms. It's very ritualistic, her inner language sensuous & fanatical. The ownership is big.
In order to undo this pattern or myth, Aida is going to need to do a very complete examination about what's been going on. She's going to need to truly disassociate from it, perhaps moving further away in her directors chair. I know it will also help her to visualize her larger picture. Right now, she sees this almost as a magnificent obsession, which it is not. It is simply a small part of her day that has done a big sales job on her & has literally imprisoned her, both emotionally & physically. Not only will Aida need to examine all of this, put she will need to work with her big picture right along side ot it, so she can see what's missing from her life; what needs to be brought in.
Aida begins by paying attention to portions of her inner scripting. Everything doesn't have to be done at the same time. This is an ongoing project & it's important for her to bring her wonderful work ethic to this area of her life. It will help her to design some new goals, preferably in good detail. I suggest she journal these & ask herself questions about what she truly wants to experience, even if she thinks that it is impossible for her to have these things.
Her early myths or patterns need to be brought to the table & disassembled. These are like puzzles.....& actually as she works with these, perhaps even mind-interviewing the early myths constructors, her parents, grand-parents & great-grandparents, she will come to see that their lives were very different from hers & so their patterns may not work in Aida's life. Yes, there is much to do....