Saturday, August 18, 2007

Inside Secret Eating - Lessons from the Closet

"All of the lessons we need are available all of the time, but often we have to wear our creative hat to access them."....Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht


For awhile I thought this was a sinister mindgame of my manipulating Self, finding a way to get me to get rid of clutter & so my attitude reflected that, as I approached the tasks with my deepest nasty Self in tow. My body presented a series of ongoing complaints ranging from headaches to a badly aching back, but what was worse was my mind activity, including an excruciating case of procrastination. Pushing myself day after day became an ongoing battle of wits. I mentioned in my last blog that it took three months to complete the task that was delivered by my Higher or Mentor Self. Of course, time is relative & in this case, it was a very long & painful time in my life, but not just for the reasons mentioned above.

Entertaining my nasty-self day after day became tiresome. However, this part wasn't a stranger to me & I grew aware that it was a familiar visitor in my dealings with my eating issues. I was tired of many things that had to do with food. Yes, I was sick & tired of daily meal planning & cooking & everything that went along with it. My Self snarled, "Why shouldn't I be tired. It's been decades & decades & it's not going to end. So take that & stuff it. And now you want to talk about dieting & cooking special things for YOU? Give me a break! And now you have me clearing out the house. What a servant you are!"

Oh.....big Self-Block.

The bathroom closet was not kind to me. I was forced to admit my poor organization skills & wastefulness once again. There were bottles upon bottles of shampoo, conditioner & all sorts of creams that promised a better this, that & the other, obviously none of them successful. As the garbage bag filled up, I started counting the money I was throwing away. Guilty & shameful Self yelling at me; truly kicking me right in the gut. Ouch...

The giver of Directions stepped in & asked the kicker to step back. This was a learning experience & while I was meant to "wake-up", I was not to be attacked, either physically or emotionally. I could almost see my little child-Self wiping her eyes, promising to learn the lessons & stay awake.


I started to feel better that day. Yes, I could face the music, but I didn't have to go down on my knees. No wonder it had been so difficult to look at all of my mistakes in judgment & lack of attention to what I was doing. I was terrified of the guilt & shame, feeling that I always had to pretend that I was "good & worthy" & the secret was that "I was not." Oh..... But, I heard the voice tell me that I was a good human being that had just made some mistakes. Yes, I could learn these lessons & get over these things. Of course, I would have to maked some changes & so that now became part of the directions.


All of the closets had suggestions for me. I learned how easy it was to organize the bathroom & if I just kept an eye on it, I could decide when we needed something replaced. My shopping list had a special column for the bathroom closet & nothing was purchased unless it was formally listed. I rather liked that.....formally listed made it special to the child part of me. It sounded like something important to do.

My clothes closet had plenty of suggestions about when to purchase things & when enough was enough. Oh..... big lesson here & this one would carry over to the kitchen as well. I was both amazed & disheartened that I owned clothes that I didn't even like. Now who would do something like that.....especially a grown-up? I was directed to remove the things I didn't like, but to saved enough clothes to last me until it was a formal shopping excursion. There's that formal word again; Once again the child liking the idea of going on a special excursion. As a hypnotherapist I came to understand that these were great "containments" that would help me to be in control & of course, everytime I was in control, that would carry over to other parts of my life.

A great surprise greeted me in my "special closet." Here is where I kept ALL of my hobbies & goodness, there were so many. I was directed to take all of them out & line them up in the middle of the room. I was called to explain when I would be completing these half-started or not-started-at all hobbies & also to evaluate how much money was sitting in the middle of the room. The bullie stepped forward, but was immediately blocked by the "giver of directions." I had to honestly confess that I didn't know if I would ever have time to do these things. As for the amount of money, well point well taken. Lesson accepted.

DIRECTION - CLEAN & CLEAR. You may have one indoor hobby & one outdoor hobby. It's time to simplify life & open the door to change. Everything else goes to someone else, so they will finish these up for you & of course, they will then belong to them.

FORGIVE YOURSELF FOR EVERYTHING & TAKE YOUR LESSON AS YOUR GIFT. Now bring all of your lessons & gifts to the KITCHEN, for it is time to apply these to taking care of yourself in new ways....