Wednesday, August 1, 2007
Inside Secret Eating - Building Self-Rapport
"Your imagination will show you how to turn your possibilities into reality. This is more than positive thinking, for when you actively visualize the things you want in your life, the subconscious mind will create a blueprint & begin to build.".....Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
MATURE WORK - BUILDING DISCIPLINES
If you are following along, you now know that the mature part of the Self is separate from the problematic or disorderly part. You also have come to know that the disorderly part has a core that needs to be accepted for what it is & then it needs to be rehabilitated. In order for this to occur, the mature part needs some special tools & training.
I asked Aida & the rest of the group to leave their disorderly core parts at the playground of the mind to lighten up BEFORE they come to work today. I only want to meet with their mature/adult parts. Of course, eyeballs rolled when I gave this suggestion, but this image further reinforced the fact that they are separate from their issues. In a way, it's like parents heading off for some much needed R&R & self-growth, while someone else takes care of the kids. Simple metaphors such as these truly help to put the mind in the right place for what needs to come next. Imagine trying to help parents to help themselves while the out of control children keep interrupting.
Most important to understand is that the mature part is in charge of the personal myths or patterns & any societal myths or patterns having to do with eating issues must be reviewed & agreed upon by the mature part BEFORE these can be put into action. In short, the mature part is in charge of the food & all behaviors/actions surrounding the food.
If there are other issues that appear to have some attachment, such as other habits or addictions, these should be considered in the very same framework. Food issues or disorder rarely stand alone. I seems like when there is disorder in one area of life, it simultaneously pops up in other areas. These could include relationships, work, prosperity & even destructive habits such as nail biting, skin picking, hair pulling, excessive spending, smoking, excessive alcohol consumption & roller-coaster emotions.
As we become more aware of exactly what is going on, then it is possible to right more than one thing at a time, especially when working with self-hypnotic imagery. As Aida became open to these concepts, she could easily see how she was feeding her disorderly core with plenty of negatives. No wonder that part had such a hold on her. In addition, there was no healthy working model in place & so that was next on the agenda.
When there is a pattern that doesn't work, it needs to be disassembled & a new plan for a new pattern must be put in place. While it takes time to establish new patterns, old patterns need to be disassembled completely. Sometimes this is a bit unnerving to an individual, rather like being left with no furtniture in the house. For Aida, this disassembling brought about feelings of anxiety. Letting go was a big issue for her, most likely because she is so emotionally connected to her old, destructive patterns.
Being aware will help her, along with deep relaxation, mental biofeedback & staying busy with the design of the new patterns. Aida loves staying busy & is highly creative. Bringing these assets to her new pattern planning will be very useful in not only managing her instability & anxiety, but will allow her to excel in the pattern design.
The more involved her mature self becomes, the stronger the patterns & the more influence she will have over her disordered core. Notice that the core is not just about eating issues anymore, but includes all of the surrounding disorder that Aida located during her mature awareness work. It's like finding out that your child is not only paying attention in school, but she also has a drug problem! The problem is far more complicated & has multiple facets. If all of these aren't addressed, then there is less chance of success.
All patterns have multi-layers, just like in the image above. Aida is going to make a list of the patterns she can easily notice, but once she gets started, there will definitely be more that will show themselves. She starts with the obvious; the excess food that she eats during the day & the night-time ritual. We decided to use the inner theater metaphor.
She relaxes deeply into the moment & when ready, finds herself walking in the town where she locates the theater. The billboard announces that her programs are in rehearsal. As she enters the theater she is greeted as the writer, director & producer of the program. She sits in the back of the theater where she can watch the scene play out in all it's detail. Not only can she see the action, but she can also see her emotions who appear like children & who are speaking the thoughts that they have placed in her very own mind.
She is appalled at what she sees & hears. The emotions are quite rude & make her tense. For the first time she senses that she truly doesn't like what she is making herself do. There is far too much food; more than is needed for herself & her daughter. While the food is fairly healthy, the portions are out of control. Aida is a walk-by eater & she is aware that her consumed "small, little bites" are adding up on the plate over there. She is embarrassed & ashamed. The part of her that is working in her home office is annoyed with the time she spends in the kitchen & is going to make her "pay" when she sits down at the computer. The part of her that takes care of the house & likes everything to be "perfect" & "admired" is furious with the cooking & working Selves. This part also plans to make her "pay."
Now it's time for Aida to become the writer, director & producer in this part of her pattern. She walks on stage & begins to make the changes. She knows that she can change anything & everything & there is much that she wants to do. She notices how happy she is to have this opportunity to set things straight. Besides changing the obvious, she calls for a meeting of the emotions to set them straight about who she truly is & what she truly wants. Instead of finding opposition, she is pleasantly surprised that they welcome her & in fact, have been wishing that she would take control. They want direction & they want discipline.
Once she has completed these tasks, Aida returns to her seat & watches the newly directed & disciiplined scene play out. There are a few things that have presented themselves that she didn't see before, but it's easy to use her microphone to set those changes. She feels her power now & is enjoying the process.
NEXT BLOG..... Back to the Theater of the Mind for New Inner Scripting.