"The art of progress is to preserve order amid change and to preserve change amid order." Alfred North Whitehead
Who would say "no" to progress? Truth be known, I know plenty of people who would & who do. Many are private patients of mine & while I might "tut-tut" at that & enjoy some good old finger-pointing, that very finger often turns around, pointing right back at me. As for the life-game of mindSCRABBLE, as I inwardly giggle at my own disorderly behaviors, my subconscious mind is busily mind-etching those even deeper.
If I was paid for cluttering, I'd be quite wealthy. Of course, I deny cluttering & as for hoarding.....well now, certainly not me.
My issues with all of this go back to early childhood. My father died when I was three & I learned to make every attempt to keep what was mine. This was my little attempt at building a secure life. While it does help to know the origin of issues, it certainly doesn't diminish the decades of closet & drawer stuffing. I've become so good at this that I can clutter just about anywhere & with just about anything. Yes....I would be quite wealthy.
I've learned that letting go is a good thing & so I go through emptying & releasing episodes. My main reasoning is that I've come to realize that prosperity doesn't flow into cluttered space, so I must release if I choose to prosper. It also helps to find things. Just the process of clearing is creative & it never surprises me what catalysts sit in that last bulging file.
Ordering disorder is a very emotional experience for me. I truly have issues with letting go & today I decided to write about these, instead of just noticing them. It is true that my things do bring me joy. I love all sorts of things including my scraps of paper. So, is there something wrong with that? After all, I'm basically a good person. Just because I feel connected to scraps of paper, does that make me a loser of sorts. Of course not, I tell myself. Don't be so dramatic.
I do want to be able to let go & release with more ease. I've noticed that whenever I go through periods of cleaning, clearing & letting go, that it does become easier. In fact, it actually begets itself. So, I guess the goal needs to be to practice more often. Is it possible that I might actually become good at this & even learn to like it?
AFFIRMATION FOR TODAY
"I choose to see my disorder clearly & then I choose what to order first."...Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht