Thursday, September 6, 2007
Locating the Crux
"We all know the importance of getting to the "center" of things or the "heart" of the matter, but sometimes the "center" or the "heart" isn't where we think it is"....Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
I look to the workshop group. A hand is raised, almost apologetically, already giving me insight to the questioner. Appreciating the seriousness of this action, knowing I'm about to receive an opportunity to enter someone's private realm, I move from judgement, quieting my own mind in preparation. All questions are important. For many, it's not easy to "speak outloud" & especially to ask a question because this "opening" allows others to peak into quiet corners, perhaps some of them hidden for years. This is the path to the "crux."
The questioner, Pam has bulimia, but has been binge/purge free since starting the workshop three days ago. How I answer her question & whether I allow others to engage may make the difference between Pam's future success & self-management. I take another hypnotic breath, taking myself to my highest realm of awake-awareness. This is where my ability to see & sense is at it's keenest; a place where my own subconscious mind will meet Pam's, giving me even more information than she verbalizes. Her apologetic hand movements have already clued me as to her mind-state.....cautious & fearful, but wanting to go forward into recovery.
As teachers/writers, what we say, be it written or spoken word, will have impact on those who are the receivers. Such is the power of communication, that even words that don't appear to be profound on the surface can change lives dramatically.....both positively, as well as negatively.
And so, we watch what we say & live with intention to help each other along without harming. This means staying out of "ego" & in the presence of Higher Self.
I like to think that each one of us are teachers & students at the same time. It feels good to know that each day as one goes out into the world, the power is present to help someone to change in a positive way, even if one doesn't know & especially, if one doesn't like that person. We can all deliver the positive goods....
I engage Pam's subconscious mind to participate in opening her question, wondering what part gave her the courage to open & thanking that part through my own subconscious communication.
I've been binge & purge-free for three days, but I have no confidence & feel like I'm walking on the side of a cliff where at any moment, the wind can blow me off. How can I help myself?
Pam's question is beautifully decorated in metaphor, already setting the stage for the next part of her work. I notice the other participants are fully engaged, most likely having felt the same in their own life experiences, be it related to disorderly eating, or other addictions or distructive habits.
I ask the entire to group to participate as "observing practitioners" as Pam self-explores, looking for her "crux".
Let's all become still now & sense what stillness feels like....in your body....in your mind. And now, become ever more still. I give each of you a dial that you can turn to the left to become stiller than before. Go down as deep as you like & enjoy the sensation of deepening. If you prefer to utilize visual images, perhaps you can go down those stairs over there, or float in the sea on that beautiful raft, counting yourself down from five to one.
Everyone but Pam will stay over there & Pam will come with me now. Here is the key to your daily path. Open the gate now & step onto the path. This area contains all of the patterns you have developed & that usually play out in your mind & body on any given day. Each pattern is accompanied by the usual emotions that participate in the particular pattern. Take your time & walk around your daily path, paying particular attention to the patterns...... & when you have finished, I'd like you to return to where I'm waiting for you.
It's easy to see where your daily stress' are located & also to know what they are about. I'd like you to ask the patterns to line up according to their level of stress.....highest in the front....lowest in the rear. Go ahead now.... Now ask your binge-purge childSELF to show you which ones are the most bothersome to her. And when you know that, ask that pattern to come forth, complete with all emotional states.
Pam chooses her relationship with her boyfriend, as well as her financial worries. Her mind shows her that these are holding hands, meaning they are related. There is definite conflict here. She tells me that she can solve her financial difficulties IF her boyfriend moves back into her house but she doesn't love him & wants to enjoy her home on her own. Her boyfriend senses her weakness & continues to press the issue.
This situation most likely forms the "crux" or the center of Pam's eating disorder. There may be more to this, but it is close enough for Pam to start working in positive ways.
I'm asking Pam to ask her binge-purge childSELF to state what she needs. The child is silent & this distresses Pam, who assumes that the childSELF doesn't want to be better. I explain that this is not necessarily so, but even if "she" doesn't want to be better, this is not the choice of the childSELF. This is the choice of Pam's mature/adult & Higher Self. Pam needs to stand in the shoes of this part of her & to bring discipline to the childSELF. In order to do this, Pam must practice in the theater of her mind.
I indicate where the theater is located on her path.... we'll go over there & begin in the next blog.